I hate when I let myself down. I think I am going so well. I honestly believe that I am not that girl who has to fight back tears in a new food situation, but then it happens. Yesterday, I went to a local Greek Fest with my boyfriend's family. We had planned on having lunch there, and I had said I was willing to try it out. When we arrived, his family bypassed the outdoor food booths, and walked into a building that had been set up as a cafe. As I looked at the picture menu full of unfamiliar items, an extremely familiar and unwelcome feeling began to rise up in me. The terror was started to build. I could sense that if I didn't get a grip quickly, the tears would soon arrive. "Stop it!!" I told myself. It was irrational. There was nothing to fear here. It was just food, and there was not the slightest chance of my starving to death. I told my boyfriend that I didn't think there was anything in there that I wanted to eat. My plan was to walk through and look at it all, and then try to find something at the outside booths. Other people, however, are usually too helpful (and I really mean that in a nice way) to allow things to be so simple, and I was too emotional at this point to try to explain well. His family pointed out that there was chicken on the menu, but then remembered that I don't like chicken on the bone. It is still so embarrassing to have so much attention on my pickiness. It makes me feel like a freak.
Eventually it was decided that my boyfriend and I would head outside to look for something else. I felt horrible because I knew he thought the food in there looked amazing. I finally did find something I was good with. I had Chicken Soulvaki on a pita with sour cream, tomatoes, and onion. My bf got a gyro that he thought sadly lacking in toppings.
We joined his family again to eat together, and I could tell he was jealous of their food. Honestly, one of the things they had ended up looking way better to me in person than it had in the picture. I kind of regretted not trying it (apparently it tasted like baked Skyline Chili). Thankfully my bf's family all had a ton of food and he ended up getting enough of what they had to more than make up for not ordering his own. The only one who really missed out was me. They did offer, but I'm not big on eating after other people.
I hope that someday I will have put the pickiness behind me. I want to be un-afraid to try new things. I want new food experiences to thrill instead of terrify me. I know I have come a long way. I do try things now. I eat so many more things than I used to. I normally am proud of myself. But when I fail, I feel like I'll never change. I am not going to let those failures stop me though. It was a lost battle, but I will not let food defeat me in the end.