In 2008 and 2009, my life felt so much better. Don't misunderstand. I was never a miserable person. I have always believed myself to be a blessed person. I've had the love of my friends and family. I have wonderful memories. I have grown up knowing the love of my precious Jesus. Still, there was always that idea in my head that I was the fat, picky, chicken. Some of those negative feelings were starting to go away. (Though I am still a big chicken!) I felt prettier. I was
getting more compliments and attention. Still, the picky thing was
always there reading it's ugly, embarrassing head. I wanted to change.
In 2009, I started trying more new foods. Just a few things, but I was
improving. In 2010 I made a resolution to try 2 new foods a month. I
started out kind of wimpy. I mostly tried things that I was pretty sure I
would like because they were made with things I already liked or had
eaten in the past. Then the biggest turning point to date happened. A
guy...a decidedly NOT picky-eating guy.
February 2, 2010, I started going to a new Bible Study group at the home of this guy from my church. I knew who he was, but I didn't really know him. My friend and I had been in a different group before, but the other members had moved away, and we were looking for something new.
This is not a blog about my relationship, so I won't go into detail about all of that, but by April this guy was calling me a lot and often inviting me to hang out. After a couple months, he shared with me his concerns about how picky I was. He didn't like the idea of me snubbing food in front of his two small boys show were expected to eat what was put in front of them. He was anything but a picky eater, and was afraid that my picky eating was going to cause problems for us.
*<---The guy in the picture is my boyfriend (though he was just my friend then) eating a hot dog that has been wrapped in bacon, covered in cheese, and shoved inside a Twinkie. I'm still not sure I'm brave enough for that. I'm not even sure I want to be.*
I thought about this for awhile. I don't think anyone should change who they are just to make someone else happy. However, if the change was already something you wanted for yourself, then I see no problem with letting that person help to motivate you to get going on it.
I decided that this was important to me. Whether I was with him or someone else someday, I knew my eating was going to be a problem. If I ever had children, I certainly would not want them to end up as picky as me. It was time together serious about changing.
I started trying foods that I was really afraid to try, and as I did, I began to find that I liked them. Suddenly I was adding rice and fish and broccoli (are you happy, Mr. Broccoli? Are you happy?) and Lima beans to my diet. Sometimes I had to try a thing 5 times before I liked it, but I was finding that most things were actually good once I got used to them.
I felt better about myself. It felt good when my bf or my parents said they were proud of me for eating something. Suddenly foods that used to gross me out, I now wanted all the time. On a trip to Washington State, I tried my first burrito. That opened up a whole new world for me. How could I have ever lived without Mexican food?
My whole world shifted. Eating out was so much more fun. Cooking became an adventure. I had a long way to go still, but the new found freedom was exhilarating.