Friday, August 29, 2008

...On The Lack of Space and Employment

Psalm 42:11
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God

Discouragement keeps rearing it's ugly head. My faith is in need of a little boost! I continue to remind myself that God has it under control and that I am well taken care of, but it gets hard. I need a job. I did get an email last night from a family, but it just wasn't the right position for me. I was uncomfortable with it, and when I told my parents about it, they were even more uncomfortable. My dad called me today to say that our pastor had given my number to a family from our church preschool. Apparently they are no longer going to be offering infant care, so some families are looking for other options. Perhaps something will come of this. It would be nice to be able to stay home and work for a family in town.

I had to get out of the house today, so I figured I'd go to the library. Hey, other than the gas, at least the library is free! I ended up getting a bunch of books on cooking for one person. Although I live with my parents (and for now, my aunt and uncle) my very particular eating habits and schedule generally leave me cooking for myself and eating alone. I don't mind this. I enjoy cooking, and I value some alone time. It will be fun to try out some of these smaller portioned recipes. That is, if I can ever get time alone in the kitchen! It seems like my aunt is always in there. Sigh, if only I had my own little kitchen. I don't want a whole apartment to myself or anything. I just want my own kitchen! When my aunt and uncle weren't living here it wasn't a big deal. My parents spend so much time at their property out of state, that I was often alone. Now I feel like I'm never alone. Oh, in my room I have all the privacy I want. People rarely bother me in here, but when I cook I love to experiment and be able to make what I want and do what I want without anyone over my shoulder asking me what I am making or offering assistance or telling me to make sure I clean up after myself. I love my family, and I know they love me and mean well. I know that my aunt and uncle need a place to stay right now, and I don't mind them being here. I just wish I had a place to prepare my own food by myself.

My nephew and niece will be over again tonight. It seems like they have been here a lot lately, but I don't mind. I'm looking forward to seeing them. I even got some books at the library today to read to my nephew.

Well, my stomach is suggesting that it may be time for a snack, so the rambling will have to end for now.

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