Thursday, August 8, 2013

I am so disappointed in myself. Honestly, I feel disgusting.  I am not making wise food choices or getting proper exercise.  I feel fat and lazy and unhealthy.  I don't know how to keep myself motivated.  I need some kind of help, but I don't know where to find it.  I look back at pictures of myself after I lost weight, and I am jealous of myself.  It isn't that I have gone back to what I was before the weight came off, but I am not that happy, healthy feeling person I was afterward either.  The first couple years after I lost the weight, I felt great about myself.  Suddenly I loved having my picture taken and shopping for new clothes.  I wasn't perfect, but I had worked hard to get where I was, and by golly, I was proud of myself. I do not feel that today.  I miss it.

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