Silly Parties and Some Serious Reflection

The Breaking Dawn release party was absurdly boring. There were heated debates by the Team Edward and Team Jacob people. It was basically a bunch of teenage girls gathered around and talking turns giving their opinion on the matter. There was this girl in a makeshift tent with a sign that said, "Ask Alice." She was using some sort of cards to tell people their futures...totally ridiculous considering that Alice doesn't use cards or crystal ball or anything other such nonsense. Most of the girls there had made t-shirts with iron on transfers and puff paint that had various Twilight related quotes or slogans on them. At one point a ton of people crowded around a tiny TV to watch trailers and behind the scenes clips from the upcoming movie. Everything they played is readily available on the internet, and I felt no need to throw myself into the insanity. FINALLY midnight came, and we all lined up, bought our books, and went home. I did enjoy hanging out with my sister and some friends though. We probably would have had more fun hanging out somewhere else, but oh well. At least I got my book.

I started reading as soon as I got home, and read till I fell asleep. I woke up at 11:00 AM and started reading again. I finished it this evening around 5:30. I'm not sure how I felt about it. Somehow it didn't read like the other books in the saga. It certainly was a page turner, and yet not in the same way that the others were. In a way, it almost felt like reading fanfic, something I tend to stay away from. Perhaps once I process it all and read it again (and naturally I will read it again), I will have a better opinion of it.

This evening at choir practice, as we were singing about the blood of Christ, I began to think about Twilight (blood and vampires, you can see the correlation, right?). Now, don't misunderstand me, I am not the sort of person who thinks that there is some kind of deeper spiritual meaning behind every piece of literature. However, I do think that, as a Christian, it is good for me to be able to relate what I read to my walk with Christ. I was thinking about the "newborns" in the books - those who had just become vampires - and how in the early stages of their new found existence all they can think about is their terrible thirst for blood. It overpowers them and becomes the absolute most important thing in the world. Eventually though, they are able to control themselves and consider their other needs and desires. Now, clearly in the case of the vampires this is a good thing, but aren't we a bit like that as Christians? In the beginning there is that "thirst" for the things of God. Reading the Bible and spending time in prayer are not chores, not everyday mundane things. Instead they consume us. Then, as time goes by, that "thirst" begins to dull. We still want God as a part of our lives, but other things begin to crowd out that desire – make it less potent. I don't want to be like that, but the truth is that I am. I allow so many other things to get in the way of what should be the most important thing to me. I let so many days go by without even opening my Bible. I worry and stress about things or just push them out of my mind instead of giving them over to God in prayer. Then, because I am not spending the time in his presence that I need to be, little habits start to creep up that I know shouldn't have any place in the life of a Christian. I find my attitude and thoughts begin to stray into places that they should not go. My relationship with Christ is simply not what it should be. So what should I do about this? I am always resolving to do better - to start reading my Bible everyday again and strengthen my prayer life. It goes well for a couple days, but then something gets in the way and I let it slide again and begin the same, familiar, downward spiral. I want to do better - I MUST do better - because giving anything less than my all for the one who gave everything for me is absolutely unacceptable.

My hope and prayer is that putting down my commitment in this blog, for all the world to see (or the 3 people who actually look here every once in awhile), will help to keep me motivated to keep Christ at the center of my life…the very core of my being. I am committing myself to set aside time everyday to spend in the Word and in serious prayer. This starts today. Now. As soon as this is posted I am going to spend some serious time with the Lord. I would like to ask those of you who share my convictions to keep me in your prayer and help keep me accountable.

Psalm 51:1-12

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.