Sunday, January 11, 2009

Struggling With My Sinful Nature

Why do I speak before thinking? Just yesterday I was discussing with a friend how I felt just the tiniest bit left out because I wasn't asked to help out with a certain thing going on at church. It was stupid for me to feel this way. It wasn't something I would have done anyway, and I'm pretty sure that those in charge knew that. However, today they DID ask me. Did I politely thank them and decline with grace? No. I laughed and said, "That's not going to happen." As soon as I walked away from the conversation I wanted to kick myself for my rudeness. I hadn't intended to be rude. I was flattered that they asked me. Shame on me! I did send them an email later today apologizing for my rudeness, thanking them for asking me, and explaining why I could not help. Still, I should have said these things at the time! Why can't I just learn to use my brain before I open my mouth?! Friends, if I ever do this to you, PLEASE call me out on it! It is never my intention to hurt others or to be rude, but I know that they way I say things can come out that way at times. This is something I'm going to have to pray about. As a Christian, I believe that I am called to speak with grace and kindness, but so often what comes out is snark and sarcasm. This should not be.

Romans 7:21-24
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

I understand Paul's plight here! I know what is right. I want to do what is right, and yet I find myself doing wrong. I am so thankful that Paul had an answer for who would rescue us from our bodies of death. Verse 25 says,

"Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

I am so thankful to have a Savior who offers forgiveness and helps me to start over when I mess up. This time it was just a small, unintentional thing and easily fixed, but sometimes the sin is huge and becomes a weight that ties me down. I do not know what I would do without the One who releases me from that sin and sets me free!

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