Twilight Crazy

It wasn't something I planned. I was going to be a sane person. I was going to go at a reasonable time of day at some point this weekend. After all, am I a psycho, crazed fan? Am I prone to extreme obsession and fan-girl behavior? Of course no-oh who am I kidding? If you know me at all you know that, well, I'm the kind of girl who flies across country to attend a Lois and Clark convention. I'm the girl who spent an obscene amount of money on a pirate costume. My miniature Christmas tree looks like a tribute to Superman. Clearly fan-girl is among the many facets of Lauren's personality.

So, at approximately 11:00 last night, if you had been looking for this fan-girl, you would have found her standing in (thankfully a very short) line to purchase her ticket for the 12:01 showing of Twilight. As I said, it was not my plan to be among the first to see the movie. However, my sister and brother-in-law were going, and I just couldn't pass it up. After all, it's not like I had to be up early or anything. Why not go? I love the books, and this was a movie that I had been cautiously excited to see for several months. (What can I say, I jumped on the bandwagon a little late). I was certainly looking forward to it, but at the same time I knew that it could never live up to the book. I was a little afraid that it would would stray too far, take too many liberties, or change the entire feel of the story. Now, of course I was right on some of this. It is very rare to find a movie that truly lives up to it's book version. So much can be expressed and imagined in a book that can just never been properly shown on the screen. No actor or actress can be every person's imagined version of book characters. I must say though, that this movie far exceeded my expectations. It wasn't perfect. It didn't follow the story exactly. Not every line was delivered in the way I had imagined it while reading. It was not the book, but it didn't have to be. It was great at being what it was...a movie.

I must say, I am very glad that I went to the opening. Even if the movie had bombed, the crowd reactions would have been worth the price of admission. The cheer when the movie finally started, the collective squee when Edward first appeared on screen, the twitter and subsequent "SHUT UP!" that happened as Edward leaned in to kiss Bella for the first time, the captivated audience (myself included!) finding themselves quoting as one voice with Edward "sick, masochistic lion"...these things all added something very special to that opening night experience. There was a charged energy in the audience that greatly heightened the excitement for me. Being in a crowd of strangers who are all passionate (at least for the moment) about the same completely unimportant thing, is really a lot of fun.

I do feel the need to mention something here. (Rob fans, you may as well stop here. No need for you to read any further. You'll just hate me.) While I, like most of the rest of the female population, am a little in love with Edward Cullen (only a little mind you...he is not, after all, Will Turner or Clark Kent), I am NOT in love with this Rob Pattinson who portrays him in the movie. I think he did a fantastic job at playing Edward, and I'll admit that the sparkling thing was pretty cool; but my goodness girls, he is just not that wonderful! Also, that voice...I was so thankful that his singing was only used in the background of the movie. If he had actually been singing to her in the course of the film, I probably would have used that time to take a bathroom break.

Now, as I look back at how much I have written on such an insignificant subject, I think to myself, "Wow, Lauren, you really need to get a life!"

Silly Parties and Some Serious Reflection

The Breaking Dawn release party was absurdly boring. There were heated debates by the Team Edward and Team Jacob people. It was basically a bunch of teenage girls gathered around and talking turns giving their opinion on the matter. There was this girl in a makeshift tent with a sign that said, "Ask Alice." She was using some sort of cards to tell people their futures...totally ridiculous considering that Alice doesn't use cards or crystal ball or anything other such nonsense. Most of the girls there had made t-shirts with iron on transfers and puff paint that had various Twilight related quotes or slogans on them. At one point a ton of people crowded around a tiny TV to watch trailers and behind the scenes clips from the upcoming movie. Everything they played is readily available on the internet, and I felt no need to throw myself into the insanity. FINALLY midnight came, and we all lined up, bought our books, and went home. I did enjoy hanging out with my sister and some friends though. We probably would have had more fun hanging out somewhere else, but oh well. At least I got my book.

I started reading as soon as I got home, and read till I fell asleep. I woke up at 11:00 AM and started reading again. I finished it this evening around 5:30. I'm not sure how I felt about it. Somehow it didn't read like the other books in the saga. It certainly was a page turner, and yet not in the same way that the others were. In a way, it almost felt like reading fanfic, something I tend to stay away from. Perhaps once I process it all and read it again (and naturally I will read it again), I will have a better opinion of it.

This evening at choir practice, as we were singing about the blood of Christ, I began to think about Twilight (blood and vampires, you can see the correlation, right?). Now, don't misunderstand me, I am not the sort of person who thinks that there is some kind of deeper spiritual meaning behind every piece of literature. However, I do think that, as a Christian, it is good for me to be able to relate what I read to my walk with Christ. I was thinking about the "newborns" in the books - those who had just become vampires - and how in the early stages of their new found existence all they can think about is their terrible thirst for blood. It overpowers them and becomes the absolute most important thing in the world. Eventually though, they are able to control themselves and consider their other needs and desires. Now, clearly in the case of the vampires this is a good thing, but aren't we a bit like that as Christians? In the beginning there is that "thirst" for the things of God. Reading the Bible and spending time in prayer are not chores, not everyday mundane things. Instead they consume us. Then, as time goes by, that "thirst" begins to dull. We still want God as a part of our lives, but other things begin to crowd out that desire – make it less potent. I don't want to be like that, but the truth is that I am. I allow so many other things to get in the way of what should be the most important thing to me. I let so many days go by without even opening my Bible. I worry and stress about things or just push them out of my mind instead of giving them over to God in prayer. Then, because I am not spending the time in his presence that I need to be, little habits start to creep up that I know shouldn't have any place in the life of a Christian. I find my attitude and thoughts begin to stray into places that they should not go. My relationship with Christ is simply not what it should be. So what should I do about this? I am always resolving to do better - to start reading my Bible everyday again and strengthen my prayer life. It goes well for a couple days, but then something gets in the way and I let it slide again and begin the same, familiar, downward spiral. I want to do better - I MUST do better - because giving anything less than my all for the one who gave everything for me is absolutely unacceptable.

My hope and prayer is that putting down my commitment in this blog, for all the world to see (or the 3 people who actually look here every once in awhile), will help to keep me motivated to keep Christ at the center of my life…the very core of my being. I am committing myself to set aside time everyday to spend in the Word and in serious prayer. This starts today. Now. As soon as this is posted I am going to spend some serious time with the Lord. I would like to ask those of you who share my convictions to keep me in your prayer and help keep me accountable.

Psalm 51:1-12

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Faith, Children, Pool Guys, and Vampires

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

The job hunt continues. I have one possible lead, but so far it's going nowhere. I should be stressed and freaking out, but instead I feel strangly calm about the whole situation. Then again, maybe it's not so strange. After all, God has never given me a reason to doubt that He will take care of me. Why would he stop now? When I look back on my life, I can see His hand guiding me at every turn.
I am certain that this will be no different. The verse I quoted at the top of this post reminds me that if I am faithful in following the direction of the Lord, he will guide me along the right paths. Now, if only I can keep myself from trying to go my own way instead of paying attention to where He is leading!

On another note, I had a nine year old try to set me up today. Am I wearing a sign that says, "please find a man for me"? I sure don't see one! A guy came to clean the pool at the family's house where I nanny. The 9 year old looked outside and whispered something to his sister who said to me, "Miss Lauren, the pool guy's left hand is free." I was puzzled by her comment and asked her what she meant. Her brother whispered to her again, and she said, "His ring finger is empty." At this point I got what was going on and started laughing. Needless to say, I did NOT rush outside and try to seduce the poor, unsuspecting pool guy.

Confession: I am in love with the Twilight Saga. I did not plan to fall in love with these books, and I was certainly a bit late in jumping on the bandwagon. However, once I started reading them I knew they were going to be the kind of books that I would devour in one sitting. Who knew I would ever be into vampire stories? Tonight (or tomorrow morning-however you choose to look at it) the fourth book is being released at midnight. My friend, who hasn't even read the books, has agreed to go with me to the release party. I'm sure it will be an insane event with squeeing teenage fangirls, but I don't really care. I always wanted to go to one of the Harry Potter release parties but never did. Maybe this will help to make up for it. I am not, however, planning to dress up for it. That would be crossing the line. Of course, if it were a pirate party, that would be a different story. ;)